Boundaries represent our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual space. We establish boundaries as a means to define ourselves, not the other person. We must know what we need and what is right for ourselves to be able to communicate our personal space and boundaries to another person. Much of our challenge comes from being focused on how we wish another person would act and what we need from them without discovering, first, how we honestly feel, our individual responsibility and our own needs – independently. We cannot ask another person to respect what we are not absolutely clear of for ourselves. When we take the time to explore what is right for us, what is aligned with our integrity, with our personal beliefs and guidelines, then we have strengthened our capacity to communicate and stay true to these goals with another person. In doing this we can reflect a clear sense of autonomy and personal identity.
We establish healthy boundaries when we represent our own needs, feelings, beliefs and values. From this place we are empowered. In contrast, we give away our power and effectiveness when we are motivated and directed by another person’s opinion or idea of us, by what makes them more comfortable or what will secure their approval of us.
Tired of the same old love advice? Relationship Counseling helps each person discover how to define our own, individual sense of self including our values, our timing, our physical space, our sense of honor and respect, what feels threatening, dangerous and offensive to us, as well as how and when we define physical and emotional closeness. Boundaries are a critical component in any relationship